Police officers are trained to note the following “symptoms of intoxication” on their report:

• Flushed face (How does he know your “normal” coloring?)
• Red, watery, glassy and/or bloodshot eyes (Been up 20 hours?)
• Odor of alcohol on breath (Doesn’t non-alcoholic beer smell just like Bud?)
• Slurred speech (How does he know your regular speech patterns?)
• Fumbling with wallet trying to get license
• Failure to comprehend the officer’s questions
• Staggering when exiting vehicle
• Swaying/instability on feet
• Leaning on car for support
• Combative, argumentative, jovial or other “inappropriate” attitude
• Soiled, rumpled, disorderly clothing
• Stumbling while walking
• Disorientation as to time and place
• Inability to follow directions or to “divide attention.”